Resignation

Tuesday morning I went into work like I would any other day. I had an extremely heavy heart because I knew that I had to talk with my principal about leaving my position. I knew it was going to be an extremely difficult conversation to have. As I was preparing for the day one of the induction coaches came in and he asked me if the rumor he had heard was true. I asked what the rumor was and he told me it was about me leaving. I told him that is what I wanted to do. He was completely understanding of why I wanted to leave.
As the day started I was teaching math and things were going ok. About 9:30am the other induction coach came into my classroom and asked if we could talk. She had brought someone to cover my class while I was gone. I was not feeling so good when we walked out of my classroom and she could tell. I was just having a really hard time controlling my breathing and she knew it. She just kept telling me to relax and that everything was going to be ok. I believe here that everything would be ok. We went to the library and she just asked what was going on. I was extremely candid with her about everything. She was very supportive of me and asked if I wanted to resign that day. I was relieved that it was an option. She called my principal in and told him. I was crying the whole time. I felt bad that I wanted to leave but also relieve that I had that option. My principal said that he understood my decision and he could tell that I wasn't happy there. I spent the next hour or so with the induction coach just talking about anything that didn't pertain to what had just happened. I took the rest of the day off and spent some time with two of my best friends. We ran errands and I tried to relax a little. I was so tightly wond that I thought I might break. I cried off and on all day. It was like it came in waves. At this point in time I wasn't eating much my friends were force feeding me at least once a day.
The following day I knew that I had to tell my students because the rumors were flying. I heard so many different things from my students that I just had to set the record straight. The first thing my kids said was did you get fired. I made sure they knew that I wasn't fired from my job. They had so many questions for it. It was weird that they wanted to ask all these questions now that I was leaving. I told them that I was leaving because of personal reasons. They of course were not satisfied with that answer but it was the only answer that I was going to give them. I told that I would be at school until fall break. They were upset that I wasn't going to be doing parent/teacher conferences. That afternoon after work I was in another teacher's classroom and a student said to me "Miss your eyes look really good." I didn't understand why the student would say that. I didn't do anything different to my eyes that day. Then later when I got home from work my friend said to me "Your eyes look really good today." I was like a couple students said the same thing. She thinks that my eyes looked really good because I was relieved.
The last couple days of the week were really hard. The students knew I was leaving and so they were going to make it miserable for me. It's like I can't live with them and they don't want to live without me. I know that once I am gone they are going to miss me but right now they are really acting out.