Last Tuesday at Huber

Today was my final Tuesday with the kids. It was not an easy day by any stretch of the means. It was an extremely hard day. It all started when they wouldn't pay attention in math. At this point I am extremely frustrated with the total lack of respect for me. The day only went down hill from there. They were extremely disrespectful all day and security came into my classroom twice. Talk about feeling like you can't control the situation. Then I have two other teachers come in and try to help out. I felt totally helpless like I can't handle my own class. I appreciate their help and support but at the same time I feel extremely inadequate. By the end of the I had my students read for 30 minutes and I refused to talk to any of them. When the final bell rang I just waved them out. I know that they knew I was not happy with them. I am hoping and praying that tomorrow will be a better day. I am just feeling very defeated and can't wait for the end of the week when I will be done and can move on from this experience. At our staff meeting I talked to another teacher and he told me that if I had problems tomorrow to just go and get him and he will teach my class and I can teach his. He really wants be to have a good last few days at Huber. The way the week is going so far it doesn't make me feel sad that I am leaving. I really need tomorrow to be a better day because right now I am feeling extremely inadequate and just don't feel like I am making any difference. Today one of my students said " you know sh e is leaving because we did this to her." I thought finally one student gets why I am really leaving even though I have never told any of them this. I have only said that I am leaving for personal reasons. I didn't respond when I heard the student say it. I am just praying for the next two days to be better than today was.